Hmmm, interesting question. Has anyone ever questioned the confidence of a toddler working a room full of familiar people? Laughing, running to and fro and holding looks? The shear and utter joy of the attention. Being so carefree. Is that what confidence means? Being carefree?
Perhaps the question isn't whether confidence can be learned but rather can confidence be re-learned? While searching for a study or experiment on confidence from kindergarten to 6th grade - i came across this: "The child is the first artist. Out of the material around him he creates a world of his own. The prototypes of the forms which he devises exist in life, but it is the thing which he himself makes that interests him, not its original in nature. His play is his expression." But Noyes argued that the artistic instinct was usually lost as the child grew older: "Imagination surrenders to the intellect; emotion gives place to knowledge. Gradually the material world shuts in about us until it becomes for us a hard, inert thing, and no longer a living, changing presence, instinct with infinite possibilities of experience and feeling." What are the factors influencing the toddler's confident behaviour? Familiarity with the crowd. A lack of 'baggage'. A safe environment a) no pressure to deliver and b) no fear of ridicule if they don't. As fear of public speaking seems to be a predominant phobia (irrational fear), how many of those factors can we apply to confident public speaking or presenting? Familiarity with the crowd: Pretty much all of the crowd that the toddler interacts with wishes the toddler well. While not everyone is a 'child' person, they certainly don't wish the child ill. Regardless of the size you are addressing you can take it that the vast majority wish you well and would like you to succeed. A lack of baggage: This is where the major work is done. Quietening the mind involves addressing unresolved matters. It is the continued practice of not taking things personally that allows you to bring just you. A safe environment: a) practice, practice, practice and practice. Give yourself plenty of time, interest and passion to know what you are taking about. The best presentations are from people who can argue both sides of the point, fielding questions or being comfortable with "I'll have to get back to you on that..." (and actually getting back to that person!). b) When a kids gets excited, they can lose awareness of their environment and fall flat on their face. And while some make laugh at the accident - it is the event, not the child that is funny (don't take it personally). More often than not, the child looks to the crowd to see how it should respond (the vast majority want to see you succeed). However, as adults we can make a conscious choice on how we respond if we trip and fall. If you would escape moral and physical assassination, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing—court obscurity, for only in oblivion does safety lie. - Elbert Hubbard Suggested reading. Never Split the Difference - Chris Voss
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AuthorHoward Hughes Archives
November 2023
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