Confident people make us feel positive. Having a sense of safety gives us a sense that we are capable of achieving what we want. Their example shows that anything is possible. However, we don't see the tribulations they have faced in order to gain confidence in themselves. It may surprise you but some of the most confident people that you know still have insecurities in certain fields of life and business (imposter syndrome). An antidote to impostor syndrome is to realise its narcissistic, egocentric narrative of "poor me, look at me!". The remedy is to focus on someone else that you can assist with your skillset, draw from the Higher Self or simply have the confidence to say "I don't know but I'll find out".
Calmness. In a panicked or fearful state, our brains are not able to empathise. As such, this is one of the reasons why the narrative of the fearful state is always self-preservation and inward-looking. Being confident allows us to focus less on ourselves and more on others. This means improved relationships (and as a corollary, saves mental energy on not being defensive) and an ability to communicate more freely. A valuable asset in both work and personal life. Confidence allows us to be at peace with ourselves and peace is the natural state for humans. This allows our operating system to reset, heal and function within normal parameters. It means less wear and tear on the engine. This means that happier people live longer. An antidote for procrastination? There are many aspects to procrastination, a condition once thought to be rooted in laziness. However, one of the reasons that people procrastinate (find anything else to do except what they're supposed to be doing!) is that they lack the confidence to either start or complete the task. Confidence is the "I know I can do this" internal dialogue and motivation that gets things done. And as you get things done you grow in confidence. Confidence in action is self-rewarding and fulfilling. Confidence begets confidence. Resilience. Imagine having the confidence to start and complete tasks. If you hit a speed bump midway through the process, what would that mean to you? Having the confidence to get back up and keep moving forward. You would feel unstoppable. How would that impact the goals you would set for yourself? Leadership As I mentioned at the top of the post, self-assured people give us a sense of security and in fearful situations, we all turn to the confident person. The confident person is not necessarily the one with all the answers but the one who is calm and can think straight. We listen to that voice of reason. Self-assured people become natural leaders. They are the people that others look to and like to be around and that is a key management skill as a parent or in the workplace. Negotiations Whether at home or at work, we all engage in discussions every day. With our spouse, kids, co-workers or management, we negotiate. When we conduct ourselves with confidence we have already made a terrific start. Can you remember how 'attractive' you were when you carried yourself in a confident, self-assured way? Did you get what you were looking for, perhaps more? Were there unintended, positive circumstances that presented themselves because of the frequency you were operating on? Self-confidence is a hub from which many positive circumstances radiate. Confidence and courage build solid foundations, a platform from which to launch ourselves to elevated levels. It can help us end toxic relationships. It can enable us to ask for a pay rise. It can help us to be more open and honest, strengthening communication with loved ones and colleagues. Exercise Think about and document times when you acted with confidence. What happened? What was running through your head that gave you that feeling of being self-assured? Can you borrow that and operate from that space again? How was your posture and what was your speech like? "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” African proverb.
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AuthorHoward Hughes Archives
November 2023
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